Do you know when you should talk to your friends? If one of your friends is doing something wrong, should you tell them? Or should you simply let them find out for themselves? What do you think is the wisest? What do they deserve? Does that even matter?
Let me use a personal account to see. As I've been at school, there have been characteristics in people that I've criticized to myself. I've told myself how pathetic some people act and at the same time, unconsciously, how glad I was that I was not that way. I convinced myself that I was more mature than that. Little did I know that I had become the very thing I hated, and apparently, many others hated it too. I've been at school for two and a half months, but no one ever said anything negative to me. Until the other night.
I have one friend here that is the only one who had the courage to come to me about it. He'd debated on whether or not to talk about it, and he told me it wasn't until then that he had the courage to. He didnt' think I would listen - thought I would walk off or shut him down. Instead, as he started telling me things, I stood there, wide-eyed, listening and hanging onto every word. I'd had no idea. He opened my eyes and showed me things I had never noticed. I see now how I've been acting, and for those of you that know what I'm talking about, I am so sorry. I am working on changing, even now. My friend is helping me, and he has promised to never leave me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.
So from that story, is it right to tell your friends? Had my friend never come to me, I would have been left alone and helpless, with no idea why. As far as I knew, I was fine and I had friends. I had no idea the reputation that followed me to classes, to work, and to my dorm. I had no idea the words that were being said behind my back, the discussions about me. What would I have done then? I certainly don't know. And I'd rather not think about it.
From my experience, it's best to go to your friends. As obvious as their mistakes may be, and as strange as it may be for them to not know what they are, they truly may not understand their actions and what those actions are portraying about them. I didn't know. Had I not had a friend willing to offend me for the sake of my changing, I would be lost and lonely with no idea as to why.
What do you think?
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2 comments:
You made a very good point there Jess. I know for myself it is very hard to seriously point out to anyone what problems they might have but I do believe we have a responsibility to help each other by speaking to them about there problems. I do want to clarify that I am not saying that it is good to "pick the speck out of your brothers eye" while "you have a beam in your own" but that we should all help each other by kindly revealing problems that seem to be ignored.
Nice post Jess. I think most people are guilty of things like this at one point and time in their life. I know I have, and I hate myself later when I realize what I've been doing. But the nice thing about all this is, real friends forgive. :)
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